Getting too used with everything?

Not a healthy sign, as you'll probably loose the independent-strong-smart-guy tag you've once branded yourself when you're still single. Once your relationship gets more intimate, it is really easy for either side to conveniently start taking things for granted and slowly becoming the dependent-full-of-complaints-bitch.

I almost became the bitch today when stevie couldn't meet me up for dinner and fetch me home after work. (At least I'm an honest one to confess in case i'm really a bitch) I was a little uneasy and starting to feel what used to be a daily routine- getting home myself as troublesome as hiking through the silk route as I'm walking to KLCC for my bus.

As I got into the bus, things just got worse. The couple behind me was in an argument. As I slowly, (and accidentally) picked up their conversation, they were arguing because the guy apparently forgot to take the garbage out to be collected! From there goes the picking of each other's bad habits and even insulting their past. At one point it got so dramatic when the guy got so irritated he pinched his girl!

It hit me in my mind. It is going to take so long before me and stevie can actually establish a relationship to a stage whereby any of us is responsible for the garbage. And for such a small matter but ironically requires so much effort to accomplish, the couple in the bus is willing to hurt each other in public?

The 10 minute ride home had left me feeling guilty, even more when he called moments after I've arrived to check if I'm safe.

Well I believe a healthy love life is about achieving balance between all flavors of life: sweet, sour, spicy, bitter and that includes tasteless events as well as most of the time we tend to pay more attention to the extremes- the fabulous and the worst, forgetting the eventless times which makes up most of our life.

Cheat or no cheat

Location: Bedroom
Mood: Energetic
Sights and sounds: All dressed in love, Jennifer Hudson

Was browsing profiles on axcest not too long ago... 25 pages matching my search criteria! It seems everybody is looking for love these days. Looking through them,I noted a few all–too–familiar faces. Some of whom I know have had boyfriends for several years, yet their status still brands them as “Single”. I can safely say that not all “single” men online are truly what they claim to be.

The word “cheat” is a silly one, for it is culturally centered. It implies that we have violated the rules of the game called Relationship. Why do men cheat? or to be general, why do people cheat? Is it because the risk of being caught made cheating so appealing? Or simply because we can never have enough?

If only we could be brutally honest to ourselves, we would then acknowledge that we are by nature, attracted to more than one individual even we are in the most romantic relationship. Fairytale-like love stories aside, this is not an infringement of any pledge of love made to our lover. It's just natural intuition. Hello, if this is not the case, what are porn for? Does watching porn while having a relationship considered cheating, if one would inevitably assume the term "love' is something ENTIRELY a one-to-one basis activity.

Again, we see ourselves landed in the question of definition. What are the boundaries and how do we consider ourselves cheating or being cheated? Definition of cheat varies from couple to couple. Some might think having three-ways and orgies a way of exploring each other better, some think having an open relationship works better and some would simply regard watching other men engaged in sexual activity an offense.

In a world full of temptations and offers, it's vitally important for couples to have adequate communication and understanding over the issue of cheating and set clear rules so that we do not cross boundaries and eventually hurting the relationship.

Hold, Kiss, Touch, Love

Everytime you Hold me,

hold me like this is the last time,

Everytime you Kiss me,

kiss me like you'll never see me again.

Everytime you Touch me,

touch me like this is the last time,

Promise that you Love me,

love me like you'll never see me again.

Factor Twenty-One and the Broken Time Machine

When things go from JUST NOW to RECENTLY to LATELY to LONG AGO and to ONCE UPON A TIME..

I believe everyone had that experience bofore? Perhaps it's sometimes sad to see things go from sweet to sour, from rich going bankrupt, and from hubby to finally he's in your "ex list". So, ladies and gentlemen, with my greatest condolences to myself, I hereby open my very first "account" in "The Bank of Ex".

What makes human so emotional? I suppose it has to be memories. Sweet memories that we tend to flashback during the sad days, memories that can no longer repeat in real life, memories that brings frustration, anxiety and most of all, disappointment.

Often enough, we tend to avoid having any contact with these memories which brings sleepless nights and all the mixed emotions. And one fine day when we accidentally bump into these memories, i.e, certain restaurants, certain cinemas, certain songs, and even certain brands bearing memorable haute couture names which somehow once featured any stage of your previous relationship, it hurts even more.

...

So I did an experiment, intended to break all the laws of "emotional healing" created by some love deficit disorder (LDD) monsieurs. I visited some most "sensitive" locations. A move which may led me popping sleeping pills to death even thinking about it on the night of 21st January, exactly one month after my birthday.

I remembered this building well. 23-26NOV 2007

I remembered the first time I walked through this corridor..

It's no longer the same as I walked through it today.

And hesitating whether or not to press the bell

in front of this door just 2 months back.

...

Room 1021

Ironically, it all started with the 21st room, and ended on the 21st day of January.

proven that my birthday wish on the 21st day of December didn't come true.

Result of the experiment?

Undefined.

SIN

DAY 1

DAY 2

DAY 3

DAY 4

DAY 5

DAY 6

DAY 7

"Practically nothing special,

not that i can recall now..

probably later :) "

it's 1:08 AM to be precise n jeff hasn't replied any of my calls or texts.

Was he on the Sydney flight?

I mean..did he got into the flight?

or something else happened before that?

like what happens most of the time.

i.e. his granny had something going in the hospital?

Will I see him in KL with Steven?

As told BEFORE he left for the door?

Guten Nacht!

(morgen)

Do we need distance to get closer?

Apparently yeah..

Especially in a long distance relationship..

Not very long distance though..

We're just 202miles/ 325km apart.. most of the time..

At times, we're even 9400miles/ 15127km apart..

At some times, we can be -7inches/ -17.78cm together c'mon u know what i mean..

And of course, we can comfortably be <1m apart!

So, in order to get from 9400miles/15127km apart to -7inches/-17.78cm together or a comfortably <1m apart,

These will probably be the stuffs we most probably relate ourselves to:

sometimes this

sometimes this will do

This would be more economical and convenient if v're 202miles away.

This is cheap too but 7-8hrs for 202miles is not for me :)

Well....this one coming soon

hmm...with all those miles, kilometers, meters inches and centimeters between us, i guess i'll treasure you a lot more when we get together. After all, it is all these little (sometimes weird) things that made our relationship so special !

Miss you so much dear !!

The best weekend this year

Location: Impiana KLCC Hotel, Room 1021
Mood: Blessed
Sights and sounds: Sound of some jap boys moaning from Steven's PC :P

The bare fact is, there is no standard method of doing this. It is always the little things that happened between the two of us which makes our relationship so special.

The number of events that I've experienced, unhappy ones have forced me to have a different point of view in many things, relationship included of course. Well back to my story, I must say it is a bless for me that someone out there actually cares so much for me and really cheered me up entirely, after so many things I've gone through.

I quite like the way as we progressed to this point, which is not the typical 'meet and fuck' type, but rather it's pretty slow-paced, hmm perhaps we are separated geographically :)

I remember there's no phone calls between us for the first year, not to mention meeting up in person a few weeks after we finally chat on the phone. I have totally no idea how we managed to stay in contact with just an occasional " Hi there" message on MSN.

So, we finally met last weekend and I shall never forget the experiences we had and I'd never want to go back to that occasional " Hi There" friend on MSN. Thanks Jeff ! You've made my life at this stage!

Overdone it...not pretty

誰人無得到一切的渴求

誰人無攻於心計的理由

平凡人生

天真過後要怎麼走

記得曾經看過一部劇集記得這首主題曲的歌詞..


原來最痛苦並不是受傷.... 最近在很短的時間內發生了太多事, 差點連我自己都要”跟不上了”.

之前以為全都是他人的錯, 都是他人對不起我, 是他人欠了我似的.

不過現在想起來; 其實我真的沒必要把事情稿得那麼難堪.....當初我承認我有要示威的念頭, 想要他知道我有多失望. 直到那天他跟我說他看了我另一個網誌的時候, 我才發覺自己也過了點兒火.

其實我也知道他跟他另一半也有很多煩惱, 說明是 long distance relationship. 我還曾用過這一點來批評他. 現在想起來, 我真的後悔了.

原本我們還可以成為buddies, 不過經過這件事後, 我感覺到他已經改變主意了. 我真的很討厭自己為什麼當初不能夠退一步, 冷靜下來才行動.

之前還以為被人拒絕的感受就是最痛苦了; 怎麼知到現在情況仿佛180度改變, 讓我覺得慚愧,愧疚, 才是最要命的!

也許他說得沒錯, 我真的很幼稚, but i've never admitted it. Now that i admit it and i'm truely feeling regretful. Sorry, please forgive me.

Fake Love? Illusion? Love Fantasy? It's all over the next morning?

"After all what I can feel is the fake love that i am always having will be disappeared when the next morning i wake up. FAKE LOVE!!"


It is hard to believe what love can do to a person, no matter how well we do in life, or how advanced we once called ourselves during the last job interview to the HR personnel not long ago.

Recently, I've got a reply (a not so direct reply) on another separate blog of his as a response to my previous post. What can I say? Long distance relationship is indeed, romantic. I'd not go against it, but doesn't mean I agree to it. It is their choice afterall.

At the same time, it is difficult to admit that any side tends to loose their patience after a period of time and will opt for some "local affairs" while their partner is away; while maintaining the long distance relationship and keeping it as a secret until when he feels his "local affair" start falling to him, and to avoid any trouble or being noticed from his "god" overseas when he comes back; so he finally reveals the hidden truth to his "local affair".



"Although I enjoyed the feeling being liked and chased by someone but sometimes when i was just over doing it, i would just hurt the one's heart whom likes me."

(Glad you notice that)

Is that a cheat? well, an irresponsible jerk will conveniently say "He (local affair)'s not even attached to me yet, how can he say i cheated on him?"

In our particular community, the circle is small enough that you can easily bump into your ex's ex or whichever relationships that you once classified them as "randomly picked, nobody knows online buddy".

Lastly, if you ask me if this is an irresponsible, hurting act, the answer is definite yes, no matter how many times you tried to explain or use beautiful expressions to run around the bushes, it will still kill one person deeply. So, this "predator" (haha it's abit of a harsh word to say but, hmm..nevermind ;-) ) is still "on the loose" and from deep of my heart i urge Dsy to stop creating fake illusions to people who gave hope on you (I just discovered there's more than one person).

Tell them and give a clear picture at the very beginning because human beings are not designed to suffer such painful truth due to your lack of patience or frustrations to your long distance partner. Good luck!



"Selfish? I don't think so.For me, as long as I can see people smile the next morning when you wake up, then i will be as happy as them.
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